I spent this christmas at home in England having my telly programmes interrupted every 2 minutes by a computer generated frog saying 'bing bing' in an excruciatingly annoying tone. Do I want him on my mobile phone? You know what, I think I'll pass.

Now these things are starting to take over the classrooms in which I work, as young students compare the different (excuse my French) shit that they have filled their phones with.

Then I saw this and I have to say that I haven't laughed so much in a long long long time.

I feel confident in saying that not many children read my site, but just in case, please show a little discretion as the language isn't the kind the queen uses, well at least not in public.

Enjoy!

Lep vikend!

 

As a christmas present for my dad, my Slovenian mother-in-law gave a very nice book of traditional Slovenian cookery in the English language. My dad loves getting his hands dirty in the kitchen, so the book was a very well-received present.

On boxing day, the book went from being a very well-received present to the best gift he had ever been given in his life, or so you would think by the smiles and joy that it gave him. Not smiles and joy in the way that you are probably thinking right now.

Let me explain;

 

I was woken at 9 in the morning by the sounds of extreme laughter coming from downstairs in the family living-room. It was my dad. I went down to investigate, or rather to tell him to keep the noise down as some of us hadn't come home until 6 in the morning and were trying to get some sleep. Expecting to find him watching one of the comedy dvds that he had been given the day before, I was more than a little surprised to find him sitting in silence reading the Slovene cookbook.

The cause of his uncontrollable emotions was a recipe for Dormouse stew, which he had assumed was just the name of the dish, in the same way that we have Shephard's pie but it doesn't contain any shephards, or Toad in the hole that doesn't contain any toad, or spotted Dick that, well, you get the picture.

When reading the recipe and discovering that the main ingredient actually is Dormouse, he couldn't control himself. It got worse when he read further down into the method; Clean the meat and cut it into reasonably sized portions! How big are these Slovenian dormice?

He spent the rest of the holiday period doing impressions of what would be the reaction were he to walk into the butcher's section of Tesco and ask for 6 dormice. Or out of nowhere would just ask me to pop down to the shop for some milk, eggs, butter, and oh, you couldn't pick up a few dormice could you?

Even now, almost a month later I get the occassional text message asking me if I could send him over a couple of the little rodents, or if I had any tips on how to marinade them to get the fullest flavour.

According to my mum, it's also been the best christmas present for her, simply because whenever he comes home from work in a bad mood, or is a bit pissed-off with something, he just picks up the book, sits on his own and cheers himself up.

I guess you could say 'easily pleased.' But actually, it isn't just that particular recipe that amuses him so much, it's the style of writing. The translation is such that you feel like you are reading something produced by Shakespeare. Anyway, I'm off to Mercator to pick something small up for dinner. Until the next time......